The Dark Side Of Light
by Whiffles
Summary: Hope sees a side of Lightning he's never seen before, the good side and the bad side.
1. Consummate Light

For the first time since we were caught at my house, I await to see my father. The past few minutes have been filled with both silence and excitement. I have to admit, being separated from Lightning, Snow and Sazh after all we've gone through is a little weird. It was starting to feel like I belonged to a new family. Not to say I've forgotten about my real family, but they've grown on me.

I reach for the doorknob, but it won't move when I attempt to turn it. I reach into my pocket to retrieve my key, but it seems to have been lost. Great. Not how I planned this, but at least I'm stuck in a situation that isn't life-changing. I get out my phone and dial my father. It rings for about a minute before the answering machine picks up.

"Hi, you've reached the Estheim residence..."

I hang up and quickly dial the first person I think of when my phone beeps at me to inform me that the battery is almost dead.

"Yeah?" the voice on the other end answers.

"Hey, Light... I kind of got locked out of my house," I get to the point.

"Um... alright, I'll pick you up in a bit. You can stay with us tonight." By 'us' she means with Snow and Serah. Thank goodness I have friends I can rely on in situations like these. I suppose it's nothing though, compared to every other situation we've faced together.

It's getting cold, and I sit with my back against the front door, staring at a cluster of stars directly overhead. The coldness of the concrete seeps through my pants and starts to numb me from the bottom up. My coat keeps me somewhat warm but the cold air is turning my lips to ice. My face is probably blue but who will notice? It's dark and nobody is around.

About half an hour passes before I hear the tires of a car against the pavement. Nobody drives this close to my house, so it's probably either my dad or Lightning. By the sounds of it, my guess is it's Light. It sounds a lot more smoothly than my dad's car runs.

She pulls up in front of me and rolls the window down.

"You've got to be freezing out here," she greets as I approach the vehicle. As I reach to open the door I can already feel the heat from the car finding its way out the window, and as I step inside, Lightning presses a button and rolls it back up.

"Thanks for picking me up, Light," I say as I fasten my seatbelt.

"Don't mention it. I don't want you to freeze to death out there," she says, sounding genuinely concerned. I'm glad she worries about me, since she seems to not really care about anyone else's well-being other than Serah's.

For reasons unknown, I can feel my heart racing faster than ever before. I know I've told myself on several ocassions that I would tell Lightning how I felt about her, but in reality, I know I probably won't. I know she doesn't feel the same way for me. Even if I thought she did, when and how would I do it? Definitely not right now. She just came by to pick me up not even a minute ago. If I did something to push her away, she'd probably force me out of her car. While it's moving, I might add. I take in a deep breath and exhale roughly, but quietly so as to not draw attention to myself, hoping to slow down my heart rate.

"Is everything okay, Hope?" she notices.

"Yeah," I answer shortly, closing my eyes and throwing my head back on the seat, implying tiredness and fatigue."It's just been a long day."

"I know what you mean, kid," she says over the heater, which is starting to strain my eyes and put me to sleep for real.

I awaken in the driveway of Lightning and Serah's house, stopped with Lightning staring at me strangely. I wish I knew why.

"We're here," she whispers as if she doesn't want to startle me.

I yawn, half-tempted to stay in the car and sleep but I decide to follow her to her door and when I do, the cold air hits me like adrenaline and wakes me up. I realize then that I'm not even tired and wonder how I could have possibly fallen asleep in her car in the first place. Stupid heater.

The lights are all turned off when we step inside and everything is quiet.

"Sounds like Snow and Serah went to bed already," she comments while flipping the light switch, showing off the white-carpeted living room in all its clean glory, with the exception of what appears to be a small pile of clothes on the far end of the black leather sofa.

"Nice place you got here," I say, trying to come up with some conversation that doesn't feel awkward.

"Thanks," she responds, setting her keys on the wooden end table beside the sofa, on the wall facing the front door. "I'll show you around. Obviously this is the living room, not much here except the TV. Kitchen is right through here," she says, pointing directly to her left where a big open space exists in the wall and marching onward away from the living room and down the hall to the right. "The main bathroom is having some... leaking issues... everywhere... so if you need to use the bathroom, use the one in my room." She stands in the doorway and points with her thumb, indicating this is her bedroom. The door is open and in the darkness all I can make out is the edge of her bed, coming out from the same side as the door.

She turns the knob of the lamp on the nightstand between her bed and the door, and throws herself back on her bed, exhaling roughly before jumping back up. I feel awkward at this moment. I'm standing next to her door, afraid she might slap me or something if I try to sit next to her. She's (for the most part) always been nice to me but I'd rather not test her boundaries, so I'll stay here until she invites me to sit beside her.

"What time is it?" she hurriedly asks.

"About 10:30," I tell her as I look at my phone, which immediately dies as it lights up to show me the time.

"Thank you," she tells me as she begins raiding her nightstand drawer. I don't see what she's doing until I notice her put something in her mouth and swallow it.

"I didn't know you were taking medication," I say, dumbly.

"I'm not," she adds as I slump back onto the ground the way I sat outside my front door. "I'm on the pill."

This surprises me, since she never mentioned anything about a boyfriend or even a sex life. She certainly never struck me as the type to just openly talk about that kind of stuff, either.

"The pill? You have a boyfriend?" I assume, curious and hoping to be wrong.

"No. I just want to be prepared for when the day comes. I don't want any regrets like an unplanned pregnancy. I don't even want to be pregnant at all," she starts to explain, leaving me stuck on a few words.

"When the day comes? So you're telling me that you're a virgin?" I ask, immediately regretting prying for information out of fear she might get up and slap me or something, and tell me to mind my own business.

"Is there something wrong with that?" she asks, slightly changing the tone in her voice but I'm not sure what to make of it.

"No. I mean, I am too... there's nothing wrong with it," I confessed.

"Yeah, but you're still a teenager. I'm 21. A lot of people my age have lost it already. I mean, Serah's younger than me and I'm pretty sure she and Snow have already had sex."

Awkward moment here. I'd rather not think about the two of them having sex when they're in the next room.

"I need to wash my hair. Make yourself at home, I'll be out in an hour or so," she tells me as she walks toward her bathroom door. I sit on her bed, now that she isn't sitting there, and I think of ways to tell Lightning the truth.

"Nevermind, apparently I'm out of conditioner. I'm gonna run up to the store and get some. Do you need anything?" she asks, walking toward the door and stopping there, awaiting my response.

"I'm good," I answer, surprised she hasn't kicked me off her bed. I guess she was sincere when she said to 'make myself at home.'

"Alright, I'll be back in a bit," she tells me before walking out.

Now I have some time to think. We have a whole night. There's really no time limit until she decides to kick me out or one of us falls asleep. Think, Hope, think. Think harder. Lightning, I love you. No, that's too... simple. Damn it all.

Without realizing, I make my way to the living room where I pace back and forth, still trying to come up with something. I am taken by surprise when, out of the corner of my eye, I see Snow, shirtless and staring at me.

"When did you get here?" he asks, looking confused. Lightning was right about his sex life with Serah. I can tell, his face is red and sweaty, and his hair is messed up. He sounds short of breath too.

"I got locked out so Lightning picked me up and brought me here," I interrupted my train of thought to answer.

"Oh, lucky you. You should feel special. You know she doesn't do nice deeds for just anyone," he informs as he walks to the refrigerator.

"I guess I am pretty special then," I answer, feeling the blood rush to my face, finding my way to the couch and lying down on it.

"No! Don't sit there!" Snow quickly scolds, making me quickly jump back up.

"Is something wrong with it?" I wonder aloud as Snow stops, realizing the damage has already been done, but I'm not sure what damage he means.

"No... just..." he looks slightly embarassed and walks closer to me. "We just broke it in today so you probably won't want to sit there."

I'm not sure what he means until I look back and see that the pile of clothes isn't clothes, but more like underwear. A bright pink bra that looks too small to be Lightning's (as well as not a color I would imagine her wearing), and a matching pair of panties. Now that I've just visualized Snow and Serah's fun in the living room, and probably with much accuracy, I feel awkward now.

Of course, now I can't stop but imagining what Lightning must look like without all of her clothes on. I imagine she would wear neutral colors, maybe black or gray or brown, and she probably wouldn't go for the cute, girly stuff like her sister does. I'm sure whatever the case though, she'd be HOT.

"Where is Lightning?" he asks, followed by drinking a big gulp of ice cold water in a clear glass.

"She ran out of conditioner so she went to get more," I answer.

"Oh man... her shopping takes forever. She might not even be back tonight," he laughs.

"But it's just a bottle of conditioner..." I reply.

"Yeah, but when Lightning goes shopping, she has a list and always comes home with more than she planned on buying. Sure, she's going to get conditioner, until she sees the electronic section and suddenly remembers that she needs more batteries. So she looks for batteries, then realizes they only sell AAAs at the front next to the cash registers. So on her way to the front of the store, she sees something on sale that she thinks we need so she stocks up on it. By the time she's in line and next to check out, she forgets what she came for in the first place and has to walk all the way across the store to get that before returning to the line. It's torturous," he explains, walking back to his bedroom with a two glasses in his hand.

I guess if they don't want me sitting on their... special... couch, I have no choice but to sleep in Lightning's room. I'm sure if she's going to be gone for a while, she won't mind.

I wake up on the side of the bed farthest from the door when Lightning steps in. I want to greet her, but I'm just too tired. She chooses not to turn the light on, I'm guessing she must have seen me sleeping, and I listen to the sounds of her footsteps heading toward her bathroom once she closes her door. I guess the light coming in from the window is enough to light up everything she needs to see.

I eventually drift back into sleep as I hear the water running in the shower, and afterward, still in a stage where I am aware but cannot do anything, feel the bed shift as Lightning gets in. Lightning, next to me, in her bed. Something is going on. She pulls the covers over her and leans on her right side, facing me.

A few moments pass until I feel part of her hand brush against my chest. Now I think that she just now has noticed me, because she begins to pat me in an odd manner.

"Hope?" she questions, feeling around for confirmation.

"What..." I barely am able to talk, but I manage.

"What are you doing in my bed?" she starts to sound a bit angry and begins pulling the covers away from me.

"Snow kicked me out of the living room," I slowly manage to tell her, tugging back on the giant black comforter.

"Why would he do that?" she asks, sounding doubtful.

"He fucked your sister on the couch," I say, straight to the point, and a bit irritated.

"So you're in my bed?" she sounds more irritated, and pulls the covers away from me, roughly.

"Well, where was I supposed to sleep? On the floor?" I ask, more awakened, and yanking the covers back over me. "You have a king-sized bed, Lightning!"

"Stop it, Hope. I need the blanket more than you do," she says, pulling it back again.

"But I'm cold!" I retort a bit loudly just before she flicks me rather harshly on the forehead to draw attention away from the blanket, and steals it back. She faces away from me now, and a few seconds later I lean over her and return the flick. I immediately regret my retaliation because in two seconds flat she has me pinned to my side of the bed by the arms.

"I could take you back home if you don't knock it off," she warns.

"So do it," I dare her, knowing she won't, as I attempt to shove her off of me, and realize why she was being so greedy with the blanket when my hands land on her. Lightning sleeps in the nude.

I could pull my hands away, but my entire body is frozen. Her breasts fit perfectly into my hands without her bra on, and I immediately feel her nipples hardening, along with something else.

"Oh my God, Hope... you're seriously getting turned on by this?" is all she says. Not "take your hands off me" or anything like that. I take this as an okay to keep going on and I squeeze them, just a little bit, still entranced by this feeling.

"Hope!" she shouts to me, sounding angered. I decide to let go, although it takes a lot out of me to do so.

"What are you doing?" she angrily asks me.

"S-Sorry, I didn't know-"

She cuts me off as she grabs one of my hands with both of hers and moves it back to its original position, pressing roughly and throwing her head back.

"That's nice, Hope. Your hands are warm," she says, and I can't help but move my other hand to grab her other breast. I don't know what to make of this. I've never been this close to a girl in my entire life, and I have no idea why she is doing this but I don't dare to question it. She lets out a small giggle, something I have never heard come out of Lightning Farron, as I can feel myself throbbing against her. I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my life.

I'm convinced she must want this the way I want it. Why else would she be letting it happen? My mind is in so many places at once. With my hands on her breasts, I can't help but think back on what happened earlier, at the same time wondering and anticipating what happens next. She said she was on the pill. Was she letting me know about what she was planning? Planning... was she? She would have to have known I'd get locked out, though... Maybe this is just a lucky coincidence?

I snap back to reality when I hear my name come from Lightning's sweet lips.

"Do you want to do this? You seem... hesitant," she says, sounding concerned. To prove her wrong, I succeed in pushing her off to the side and overpower her, shocking even myself. I didn't know I had it in me.

"I'm real nervous, Light," is all I can thinking to say that doesn't come off as reluctance. Our foreheads touch, lips just hairs away from each other. I stroke a small strand of her damp hair before she whispers something.

"Me too." She bites her lower lip before pressing both of them against mine. Her arms encircle my neck, pulling me closer to her. I return the kiss, trying not to push my lips too harshly against hers. The lightest touch and movements leave me begging for more, and soon my tongue slips into her mouth. Her tongue, sweeter than any kind of candy, circles mine as my fingertips brush down her side. As I go lower and lower down her smooth side, she opens her legs a little bit more. My hand finds its way past her hip and wraps around her thigh. I run my fingers across her thigh until my hand rests between her legs. Already she squirms and I shift the focus from her upper lips to her lower ones.

She moans when I barely stroke her. I kiss her neck and work my way up to her earlobe, making her wetter than I thought was even possible. My teeth graze her and my fingers easily slide into her. They slide in and out, spreading her juices over her in a messy manner. She breathes heavily as I tickle her insides, her pelvis thrusting toward me with every movement.

When I think I can't handle hearing any more of her moans, she pushes me away and I fall straight back. She makes her way back on top of me, kissing me passionately as her fingers sneak under my shirt, slowly forcing it up. I can't help but laugh at this. I'm too ticklish.

"You're ticklish, Hope?" she teases, looking me straight in the eye with a seductive grin.

"No! Don't!" I beg, now laughing nervously, but still craving her touch.

"How do you plan on making me stop?" she demands, barely touching my stomach.

I'm laughing too hard to think straight. "I don't know! What do you want?"

"I think you know what I want, Hope," she teases, running her hands further down my stomach to direct my attention somewhere else. Before I even realize what's happening, she unzips my pants and takes all of me in her mouth, dripping with saliva. I feel myself harden even more and I feel like part of me has turned to stone, in more ways than one. She has me completely paralyzed and at her will for anything she demands. But she just chooses to have her way with me. I feel her tongue moving in so many directions as I reach the back of her throat and start to doubt if I can go on, just before her face comes up, staring sweetly at me.

My hands grab her by the hips, pulling her down as I slide into her without thinking. She moans when she rests on top of me before pushing back up with her legs. It evens out; she comes up and I pull her back down, each time with more force. Her moans turn into choked screams as she tries to keep it down so as to not disturb her sister. I move one hand up and away from her hip and up to her breast, squeezing it and running a finger around her nipple. I manage to sit up with Lightning still on top of me, supporting myself with my arms at my sides as I run my tongue in circles along her nipple. Her arms wrap around my neck as she continues pushing herself up and down on me, and my lips now close in on her nipple.

Her arms wrap around my neck and her nails start to dig into the side, heightening all of my senses. She continues pushing herself up and down on me with her legs, and my lips now close in on her nipple.

I wrap a single arm around her smooth waist while she rides me, still supporting myself with the other. I feel my body temperature increase as sweat slowly drips from Lightning onto me. I thrust into her as hard as I possibly can, given the position I am in, and she lets out the sexiest moan over and over again.

"God, Hope..." she mumbles breathily, and I pull her as hard as I can with my one arm and I can barely catch my breath.

"Light, I'm-" unable to finish my sentence as I empty my juice into her and fall back on the bed. For a few moments, Light stays where she is, catching her breath before falling beside me. She faces me, placing one leg over mine and resting her head near my shoulders before giving me a quick kiss on the lips.


	2. Opposite Extremes

I wake up alone in Lightning's bed, in the last position I remember being in. I sit up once my eyelids stop falling back down. I pull on my pants, wondering if last night really happened. Judging by the wetness of the covers and the scratchy pain in my neck, I think it's safe to say it did. When I get up to use her bathroom, I look in the mirror to see how noticeable the scratch is. She drew blood, although not much. About as much as a papercut would draw, probably. I rinse it off and put my scarf back on so nobody questions it.

I start to wonder if Lightning was lying about being a virgin. She seemed to know what she was doing and just... took control. I don't know what this means but if I can't find her, I'll have to wait to find out. All the odds are against me. I'm seven years younger than she is, and I'm not as tough or even as tall. It just seems a little backwards to me, and still, the heart wants what it wants and nothing can change that.

I step out into the living room, where I see Snow and Serah taking up the whole couch in their pajamas. They faced the television and Serah's back sinks into Snow, whose arms rest across her chest and whose head sits atop the armrest.

"Hey, you're up," Snow points out, turning slightly in my direction when he hears my footsteps.

"Do you guys know where Lightning went?" I ask dumbly.

"I don't know. She was gone when we woke up," Snow answers.

"I think she said something about seeing her therapist," Serah adds.

"Therapist?" I honestly can't picture Lightning opening up to a complete stranger about her life.

"Yeah, she's been in therapy since she was a kid. Hasn't gone in a while though. Probably the whole l'Cie thing."

"Oh," I respond, sitting in a chair across from the couch. "Do you know when she'll be back?"

"She should be back any minute now. She's been gone for at least a couple hours now," Snow adds just before Serah laughs at something on the television that I didn't quite catch.

"What'd I miss?" Snow turns his attention back to Serah and the television, and I make my way back into Lightning's room, wondering what to do. _Stupid,_ I tell myself, _Could you have been any more obvious?_

I lay down, head resting in my arms, looking at the ceiling and replaying the events of last night in my head. A smile creeps up on me as I remember what she felt like, what she tasted like. But I can't shake away these thoughts that something is wrong. Why would she take off without saying anything to me? She never even mentioned therapy. Did I do something wrong?

A few minutes pass before I hear the front door open. Must be Lightning. My heart starts to race as I wonder what exactly I'll do when she comes back in here. And yet, the excitement of her coming back, the joy I get from knowing I'll see her face again in only a few moments completely throws out the way I've been feeling. I don't want to come off as desperate, though. I mean, I'm not... I'm just excited. I hear her talking to her sister but I can't make out anything in specific being said. Only Snow's voice is loud and deep enough to carry through to Light's room.

"Hope was just wondering where you were," I hear him say, followed by the feminine voices of the two sisters. After hearing my name I get curious as to what they're saying and I lean closer to the door, trying not to make so much noise.

"Where is Hope, by the way?" Lightning asks in her calm, soothing voice.

"In your room," Snow answers. I quickly step away from the door and jump back to Lightning's bed just as she passes through her door. She gives me the strangest look and I think she might have seen part of my way back to her bed.

"Hope... what are you doing?" she questions, staring me in the eye.

"Waiting for you," I answer, watching her close the door behind her. "How was therapy?" Judging by the look in her eye and the way her muscles are tensing up, I must have made a mistake by asking her that.

"Well now that the whole world knows about it, SERAH!" she says angrily, but not in a shout directed toward her.

"Oh... sorry for asking," I quickly and nervously shut up.

"It's alright, Hope," she reassures, but still sounding somewhat angry that Serah told me.

"If it means anything, you can always talk to me. I won't charge you," I try to make light of the situation, but she's still somewhat quiet. She says nothing until she sits beside me on the bed.

"Thank you," she responds, grazing my leg but pulling back quickly, "but I don't like to talk about myself."

"If you want to, Light. I'm not trying to force you. Just... if you ever get sick of your therapist."

She smiles and kisses me lightly on the lips. Not expecting that, I feel the blood rush to the surface of my face.

"Hope, you're blushing," Lightning states the obvious. I'm just glad she couldn't see my face last night. I imagine it was a thousand times worse than it is right now.

"Are you teasing me?" I ask, slightly annoyed at all the attention.

"Hm... do you _wanna_ be teased?" she returns, running a single fingertip up my arm ever so subtlely.

"Is that a trick question?" I become confused, thinking (hoping, really) that she might be headed somewhere with this that leads to what happened last night. But... Lightning is Lightning. Hard to read. Not even her own sister gets her sometimes.

"You tell me," she whispers, just before pulling my face into hers, grabbing me by the neck. After about five seconds of very intense kissing, she pulls away to say something, giving me a chance to catch my breath. "I missed you."

The calmness in her voice is almost scary and demanding, but sweet to hear. I can't stop thinking about her, even when she's inches away from my face. I've never known her to be so... personal with anyone before. Is it just me?

"I missed you," I return honestly and without thought.

"Good," she says softly before inching her way back to my lips. She's almost there when Serah's voice booms through the door just before opening it, and Lightning quickly pulls herself away from me.

"Sis, I need some advice," she greets, not even aware of her boundaries. She has her face buried in what looks to be a bridal magazine as she speaks. "I really like this one," she says, temporarily exposing her face to show the page to Lightning. "But I hear that designer has really bad reviews... apparently nothing is ever made to last through the reception. But a few pages back, there's another one that's pretty similar to this one, but it's waaaayyyyy more expensive!"

"You get what you pay for. If it's more expensive, it's probably because it's higher quality," Lightning reminds Serah, who now intrudes and sits on the bed between us. I roll over onto my stomach and kick my legs up and down out of boredom like I'm swimming.

"The thing is though, with all of these, I'm not really sure because of the sleeves. My arm length is never the same as these models, and there's another dress on..." I hear pages flipping, "this page, that's sort of a different style and I normally wouldn't care for it but I know the neckline would be flattering on me."

"Why don't you just visit a bridal shop? That way you can try everything on," Lightning suggests.

"Ooh! Lightning! Please!" she begs her older sister.

"Please what?"

"Please take me to a bridal shop!" she begs even louder.

"Can't Snow take you?" Serah and I both snicker at the suggestion.

"Psh. The groom isn't supposed to see the dress until the wedding," Serah reminds her sister.

"Well excuse me for not knowing anything about marriage. Not like I need to know for a long time," she starts changing the subject.

_Not if I have anything to do with it. Just you wait, Light._

"That's beside the point. I need an outsider's opinion. A girl's opinion. Please! You're the maid of honor, isn't that kind of your duty?" she tries guilt tripping her sister.

"Fine."

"Yay! They close at 8. If we leave now we'll have a good few hours."

"Now?"

"Please!"

"Fine."

"Yay!"

"Just give me a few minutes."

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Serah gets off the bed and leaves the room, leaving the door wide open. Lightning gets up to close it and I turn around, forcing myself to the edge where I sit up. Almost immediately, Lightning leans over me, placing a knee up on the mattress by my side and crawling on top of me. Her lips meet mine once again, and although I know she has to leave soon, I get hard. I wish we could just be alone, for good.

"I have to leave in a few minutes," she reminds me, immediately drawn back to my lips.

"No," I say without thinking as I involuntarily clutch her by the waist, pulling her closer to me.

"Sorry, Hope. I'll be back probably a little after 8."

"But you just got here!" I remind her.

"I know. I'll make it up to you," she says before giving me one more kiss and leaving me alone on her bed.

"Wait, before you go," I get her attention just before she reaches the door, "um. Are we... I mean, what are we? What's the deal, Light?" I need to know.

She sighs softly before answering me. "We'll talk about that later." She leaves, closing the door behind her.

Sigh? That doesn't sound good, but I try to think positively. I need to find a way to get my mind off of this before I make an even bigger ass out of myself. For a second I forget what she did to me less than a minute ago, but I slowly snap back into reality and it doesn't go away. I can't stop thinking about what happened last night, what just happened, and what might happen in the future. My fingers inside her. Her lips against mine, our tongues massaging each other. How soft her breast is in my hand. How tight she is. The future. What she'll taste like where I haven't tasted before. To have my face buried in her.

_I shove her onto the bed before me. She chooses not to move and my mouth travels from her earlobe to her neck, and down to her chest when I remove her shirt. My hand grabs onto her side opposite of where I kissed her, and she uncontrollably grinds against me. Further down, to her stomach. Past her belly button, decorated with a lovely, shiny jewel, my tongue teases her. My hands travel up the sides of her thighs, unlacing her skirt and pushing it up, exposing her panties. I latch onto them with my teeth until they reach her knees and fall down on their own. I kiss my way back up the insides of her thighs until I reach the spot where her panties used to lie. My tongue finally brushes against her most sensitive areas, cupped in my lips. For minutes I do this until I can't handle it anymore. All the moans and saying my name, all the wetness dripping from her, I can't take it. I pull away and without further thought, push myself into her completely on the first thrust._

_"More," she begs. I pull almost completely out and shove back into her. The high-pitched moans coming from her mouth drive me to do it faster, I want to hear it more frequently. Almost out... back in. Pull back, go in deeper. Moan. Faster. Faster. Faster. Putting all of my effort into this, I feel myself become short of breath and ready to let it all out inside her. I roughly grab one of her breasts while holding onto her hip with the other hand, pulling her back closer to me every time I thrust deeper into her. She's too sexy, I just have to do it now..._

Before I even realize what I've been doing, I find my pants undone and my hands, inside them, sticky. Now that I've released, I'm not so hard anymore, but the thoughts are still there. I decide to take a shower and clean myself up. When I come out, I realize I haven't changed clothes in a while. I leave my shirt off and just cover up with my pants. I don't know what I should do with my shirt so I fold it and put it on the floor at the side of Lightning's bed. I look at the alarm clock, which says 7:52. Lightning should be back soon.

My stomach starts growling so I head into the kitchen and look for something to quiet the rumbling. I make myself a sandwich and I think I put a little too much jelly on it, but it's better than starving. About five minutes pass as I eat the sandwich. I go back into Lightning's room, suddenly feeling exhausted. I close my eyes, trying not to fall asleep but it relaxes me so much. I think I might have actually drifted into an early stage of sleep because Lightning returns and I don't recall hearing the front door open.

"Hey, you're back," I greet, noticing the clock says 9:10. I must have slept longer than I thought. And I wonder what took her so long, but I'm too tired to question her.

"Hey," she returns, without looking in my direction. She walks straight into the bathroom, where she stays for a few minutes. I start to wonder if she's feeling okay but I start to hear something that sounds like she's moving things, picking them up and dropping them. I decide not to bother her, I already feel like I've bothered her enough. She probably thinks I'm too clingy, never wanting her to leave and always asking questions about us. Okay, that may be an overstatement but it doesn't change how I feel. I think I need to lay off.

"No, I'm not," I hear her echo.

"I don't care what you thought you saw or heard. It wasn't like that. You don't know a thing!" she follows up. I hear more movement but can't pick up exactly what it is that she's doing.

"Well I appreciate your concern but it's none of your business. If I wanted to talk to you about it, I would have gone to you. ... Well why don't you just follow me to my next appointment, hm? I'm sure you'd like that. Plenty of entertainment in that room. Why don't you bring your son along with you, while you're at it? I'm sure he'd love to know everything I tell my therapist."

The more I hear her talk, the louder her voice becomes. "If I thought it was okay to tell that to a child, I would have. But... no... that's not what I meant. ... Do you really wanna know? That was a rhetorical question, Sazh. You know, some things are just meant to be left alone. Maybe you should drop it. Fine then, I will."

A few moments later I hear her phone ring. Now I'm convinced that I must have slept longer than I thought, because I never heard it ring before she walked into the bathroom. Suddenly, she storms out, phone still ringing. She throws it against the wall and it stops ringing as it falls apart into several pieces. The battery even comes out. She looks like she's about to faint, she's so red in the face and she's so worked up I can practically hear her heart pounding from across the room.

I want to make sure she's okay, but I have a feeling that she might try to beat me if I tried to get in her business. Instead I look at her, completely ignorant of what to do. She notices me but says nothing until she beats the side of her head with the edge of her palm.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" She walks over to where the pieces of her phone landed. She picks up the pieces and throws them again. I think she's going a bit overboard when she gets out her gunblade and completely demolishes its remains. Once satisfied, she drops the gunblade and lets out a furious half-scream, half-cry.

I wish I knew how to make her feel better, but I don't. Yeah, she's kind of scary to watch right now but I know better than to interfere. I've been mad before, so I'll just leave her alone. She calmly walks back into the bathroom, gently closing the door behind her. Good, she's starting to cool off. Hopefully she's over whatever it is that's pissing her off right now.

"Hope! What the HELL are you even doing here?" she yells at me through the closed bathroom door. I don't know what I did, so I don't know how to respond to her screaming. She opens the door and calmly repeats the question.

"Why are you here?" she asks, staring directly at me.

"Um... I got locked out... remember? Are you feeling okay, Light?"

"Okay? Heh. Never better, Hope. Get out," she commands.

"What did I do?" I question. I've heard from guys I know that women can be irrationally moody like this but I never knew they could be this psychotic.

"Like you don't already know-"

"I don't! What the hell did I do?" I quickly think of what was said just before she left.

_"Wait, before you go. Um. Are we... I mean, what are we? What's the deal, Light?"_

Did that upset her? Could that have possibly made her this angry?

"If this is about earlier, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," I tell her in all seriousness.

"Well you did, so get out."

"And go where?" I question her. "I lost the key to my house!"

Just then, she reaches into her pocket and throws the contents at me.

"Here's your damn key, Hope. Now get out."

"Hey, hey, what the hell is going on in here?" Snow demands at her door, making his way in without asking.

"I'm going home," I answer as I grab my dirty shirt from the white carpet. It doesn't occur to me until about fifteen minutes after I leave... Lightning had my key all along? My thoughts are quickly interrupted when I hear my phone ring. I get into my pocket and get out my phone, but it's dead. _That's right, it died a long time ago. That's so weird, I could have sworn it just went off_.

By the time I reach my house, I'm nearly frozen like an ice sculpture, and the worst part is, when I find my way inside my house, I learn my father is home, but is already fast asleep. I walk on up to my room and warm up with my blankets for about a half hour, just sitting there. My mind is completely blank. I soon jump up though, regardless of temperature, when I hear someone's footsteps just outside the hall of my bedroom. Is my dad awake now? I start to rush to the door to find out but am stopped by someone else.

"Why are... how did you even-"

"You left the door unlocked. Hope... I'm so sorry," Lightning apologizes, sounding like she's about to cry. She steps in my room and closes the door behind her. "I tried calling you on Serah's phone, but I forgot your phone was dead..."

_So I really was getting a phone call? From Lightning?_

Before I can say anything, Lightning pushes me down on my bed across from the door, burying her face into my chest with her arms around me. Even more confused now than before, I don't know what to do. Push her away? Cling to her? Just sit here?

And yet... as hurt as I just was, I'm not now. Are relationships always this confusing? If I can even call it that... now I'm completely clueless as to what she wants from me.

She pulls her face back and kisses me, now sitting in my lap with her side facing me. I'm not sure how I should respond because of earlier, so my body does it for me.

Once again, I taste her sweet lips and hold on to her soft body.


	3. Consummate Darkness

"Hope, you were right. I shouldn't be talking to a therapist, I need to talk to you." she says, pulling away but not too far.

"What's wrong?" I ask, unprepared for what I hear next.

"I never thought it would happen. I thought I was safe in playing it my way, but I was wrong. I was always so wrong, Hope." She pauses to breathe in before continuing. "...I never told you about how my father died, did I?"

"Um, no, you never told me that," I respond, curious as to why she would say something like that, out of the blue. And what it has to do with the way she just acted toward me.

"No one ever had a clue. I got away with it, Hope. Nobody ever knew it was me," she explains, which seems to stop her tears. "Only you know. I trust you, Hope... so there's a lot I need to tell you."

"Anything, Light. I won't judge," I promise her.

"When I was... really young..." she starts off, removing herself from my lap to sit next to me, our backs pressed against the wall, "my father was abusive and everyone was clueless. I didn't want to tell anybody because I knew nobody would believe me. I was always a trouble maker when I was a kid. Well... it kept up, and I was old enough to remember it all. Serah was still too young to know what was going on, and as far as I know, he never laid a hand on my sister. It scarred me for life, though... so I killed him. He just happened to be on medication at the time, for whatever reason, so I made it look like it was suicide. I waited until he was all alone, and he thought I was gone. I put on my gloves, grabbed the bottle of pills and opened it... took a knife from the kitchen, and I waited for him to get out of the shower. I told him if he didn't swallow everything, I would castrate him."

"Castrate him? Light, did he rape you?" I demand to know, with every motivation out there to murder the guy myself if he wasn't already dead.

"No. He never got _that_ far. But I can never forget, even today, what it was like to have that disgusting pig on top of me and forcing me to do things to him. Every chance he got. When mom was grocery shopping with Serah, he found his chance. When we were at the god damn dinner table, he would sit next to me and always run his hand up my thigh. I was only a kid, Hope," she says with an angry calmness in her voice.

"I... I'm sorry, I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. But from that point on... it changed me, Hope. For the longest time I couldn't eat because of what always happened at dinner. Hell, I was anorexic for a good amount of my teenage years because of that. Needless to say, I didn't want to get close to anybody as a direct result of it... but you know, there was always something different about you."

"It's because I'm young and don't intimidate you, probably," I piece together rather quickly.

"You're just... well, I've never met anybody as sweet and kind as you before, Hope. And that's exactly my problem... You're everything I want, and I'm still not happy."

"Did I do something wrong?" I wonder aloud.

"No, Hope. It's just that..." she takes in a deep breath before she says what's next, "I promised myself it wouldn't happen. I vowed to never let my feelings get the best of me, because people are never who they seem to be. I told myself time after time, over and over again, that I wouldn't fall in love, but you just make it so damn difficult, don't you?"

I wasn't prepared for this. It's hard to tell if she's being completely honest or is just confused, and I hope it's the case of her being totally honest... I don't know what I would do if I found out her feelings for me were all just an illusion.

"And that's what I don't get... I've never had to face this type of situation before. I always told myself I didn't want it, so if it happened on someone else's part, it wouldn't matter. I was never even in a situation where I liked someone who just ended up betraying me, because I avoided everyone and everything. Except Serah, of course. She was always the exception to everything. But that's beside the point... I don't what to feel now. And to make it all even more confusing, I'm the adult in this relationship and I'm the one who's acting like a child."

"You're not acting like a child, Light," I assure her, but I know she will have some difficulty believing me. Despite it all, I'm here for her.

"Thanks, but I feel like I am... I guess it's gonna hurt no matter what, right?"

"It doesn't have to," I start to tell her, brushing the backs of my fingers along the side of her face. "Look, I know it's tough... and I don't expect you to just take what I have to say right away. But I want you to at least give it some time to sink in. I will never hurt you. I know people say it alot and go back on their word, but Light, I could never do that to you. I would rather stab myself in the chest."

"... I believe you," she says, and I can tell it kills her to say it. Careful not to make anything more stressful, I do and say nothing. "I believe you would never intentionally hurt me. I would never _intentionally_ hurt you either. But I already hurt. See, I thought I could play it safe if I didn't allow myself to fall for older, stronger, more powerful men. So it was only okay if I thought I was falling for someone who couldn't hurt me. Someone younger and weaker with less life experience. Someone I could control, dominate and have fall for my every command. Like you, Hope. Someone that I thought, it wouldn't matter if I loved the person or not. They can't love me back, they don't understand the concept of love. So it just wouldn't exist. And I wouldn't get hurt, because we'd never get to know each other. I eventually convinced myself that it just wouldn't be possible to love someone incapable of loving me back, but I was so wrong. That's why I'm a total mess."

"For what it's worth, don't think that just because I'm fourteen years old that means I can't love you back. I'm not like most people my age," I tell her, hoping it would hurt less but I really just have no idea anymore.

"I... don't know how that's possible..." she mumbles.

"If there's anything I could do to prove it, I would, Light." Nothing is said for the next minute or so, but I know she's deep in thought. I turn my head to look at her, still resting against the wall.

"Show me..." she starts quietly, "that it doesn't have to hurt. To be the one with everything to lose."

I pull her into me, softly, and her head rests on my shoulder. My fingers run through her silky hair. "You're not going to lose anything, Light."

She pulls away just to gravitate right back to me, except this time her forehead rests against mine and she finds her way back into my lap.

"Hope..." she whispers.

"Yeah?" I respond, followed by a long, breathy pause.

"I think I'm in love with you." I can tell that saying that felt like a knife through the heart for her, despite it not even being a definite statement. She cuts it down and it still hurts.

"I _am_ in love with you," I confess, hoping to ease the pain. A smile makes its appearance on Lightning's face, although not a big one. She looks relieved for a moment before resting her head on my shoulder and sliding her fingers between mine.

"I trust you, Hope," she whispers. With my free hand I caress the back of her head, gently stroking her light curls. "And I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Light." After I say this, she pulls her body down so her back rests on my mattress, taking me with her.

"We're finally alone again," she reminds me, quietly.

"Not really. My dad's in the next room sleeping," I inform her, although it doesn't make much of a difference. Snow and Serah were in the next room during our first time.

"We'll just have to be quiet then," she suggests before reaching up to my lips. Her fingers run through my hair as my body presses against hers. I worry that I might be crushing her but she's the one pulling me toward her. She cocks her head to one side and then the other as her warm, wet lips press against mine and my fingers travel up her sides.

"I don't want to worry anymore. This time... I really want to just let go," she says between kisses.

"I can make that happen," I tell her, hoping I didn't just come off as too corny. I kiss her lightly on the neck while my hand on the opposite side of her travels down and back up her leg. My fingers sneak inside her skirt and clutch on to her panties, pulling them down. She lifts herself up to make its removal easier and starts squirming when my fingers lightly brush down her thighs. I pull away from her neck and prepare myself to taste her. She moans lightly when she feels my tongue against her. I lightly move it up and her leg twitches. I hold her in place by the thighs as I continue to lick her, watching her tightly clutch onto the bed sheet. I move my tongue in circles outside her lips, taking in the sweet scent and taste of her juices.

"Hope... you're amazing..." she can barely let out. I slide my tongue into her and up, back down and inside as her lips find their way between the lips on my face. "Stop teasing me."

"You want me to stop?" I question, refusing to pull away from her.

She tries hard to respond through her heavy breathing. "I want... something else."

I take myself away from her and watch the bottom edge of her shirt rise up above my hand. It reaches the bottom of her breasts, and her arms rise above her head as I pull the rest of it off, exposing her little black bra. She kisses me passionately and our tongues explore each other's mouth while my hands preoccupy themselves with the hooks on the back of Lightning's bra, which soon comes off, revealing her perky breasts and pink, hardened nipples.

She does the same to me, turning my shirt inside out as it comes off of me. I lean in closer to Lightning, and her warm, soft skin presses against mine. I unzip my pants, still caught up in her tongue and I let myself out. Without much further thought, as soon as I let myself out I find my way into her. She gasps and squeezes her eyes shut, and for a moment I think she might be hurting but she relaxes everything else. I press my face against hers and her tongue runs along my bottom lip before entering my mouth. I thrust deeper into her as I hold on to one of her legs to keep myself at the perfect distance. She moans louder. Without stopping my thrusts, I put a finger to her mouth.

"Shh. We'll wake up my dad," I remind her. Not that I care about waking up Snow or Serah, or if they'd even hear us... but not my dad. Who knows what he would do if he walked in on us. I don't really care about what he might do to me, but Lightning is an adult. It's her I'm worried about if that happens.

"Don't expect me to be quiet," she says, still panting with every thrust, "when you're doing _this_ to me."

"Should we stop?" I ask, slowing down.

"No!" she quickly responds, wrapping her arms around my neck as I regain my speed. Every inch of her chest and stomach presses roughly against mine as she holds me closely and I continue to pump into her as fast as I can. I start to lose my breath and can feel the sweat surfacing. Her breath becomes heavy and I'm convinced that every time this happens, I'm going to cum. With every pump now I feel her getting wetter and wetter. She pushes me over the edge when she moans my name and I cum inside her, letting out a final moan of my own.

It takes a minute for me to catch my breath. "Are you satisfied?"

She smiles and I know she is. "Couldn't be more," she answers with exhaustion and pleasure in her voice. I rest at her side with my arm spread across her stomach. For a few minutes we lie there motionless, letting our heart beats slow down and our breaths catch up to us.

"Hope, why don't you come back with me to my house?" Lightning offers, quietly.

"You won't kick me out?" I question before I answer her.

"No. I'm sorry about that... but I promise, that will never happen again," she assures before kissing me gently on the cheek.

"Let's stay for just a few more minutes," I suggest, tired. She does not dispute this, and after a few minutes pass we put our clothes back on. She stands up before me.

"Ready?" she asks, pulling the hair out of her shirt.

"Whenever you are," I answer, following her to the door, where she stops and turns around.

"I never told you something," she states before opening the door. "Right before I left with Serah, you asked me something... and I never did answer you. But..."

She chokes on her words and I try to think of how to make everything alright. All I can think of is, "You don't have to answer me if you're not sure. You don't have to say you want to be my girlfriend if you're not ready for that-"

"I _am_ your girlfriend," she declares, interrupting me. I smile.

"Cool," is all my dumb ass can think to say. She kisses me on the lips before taking my hand in hers and leaving my room, closing the door behind us.


End file.
